The 50 very important things should men realise about women
When we find a list quite possibly even way more ridiculous than even some of our own lists posted around, we already knew we had to intervene here.
The only reason why we even read this list in its entirety is because we falsely and wrongly believed it was actually written by the one and only “WSJ” for the most part of the actual article.
Really the only thing dumber and possibly worse than the post in itself is the actual fact that we felt truly compelled to write our own unique version on this list. We truly promise that it is actually got some thought behind our own list and added much more entertainment value.
Here is our own personal response to the “50 Things Every Woman Must Realize About Men” fiasco fittingly titled “50 very Important Things Men Should Realize About Women.”
1. You really have to learn to stay away from her own top drawer inside the nightstand. It has got her own “Secret Service” folders and the stuff she really needs to hide when the rule parents visit by surprise.
2. She really loves you for who you actually are. If she really didn’t, then why in the world would she waste her precious time trying to change you into something else?
3. You should really take it own and personally when she actually flirts with someone in front of you. It usually means that you are either not giving her what she really wants in bed or she finds that fella way more attractive and interesting than you. Ouch!
4. Her close friends opinions of you really matter, don’t believe otherwise. To citrate a British pop girl group that defined the 90s generation – The Spice Girls – “If you wanna be my lover – you gotta get with my friends.” True words!
5. The girl wants to have a good relationship with your mom. Who would really teach you how to treat a girl right?
6. You really have to let things go. Really, stop thinking she is all about drama when you are the drama King yourself.
7. She likes the mystery you have. For other things, like your pride possession, the extensive collection of Matchbox models, keep it to yourself. Please!
8. The girl really misses you when you are away. That doesn’t necessarily mean she will send you postcards when you leave for work early in the morning.
9. Withholding precious info is dangerous. We need to know how the movie ends… and which one of your good friends was using hemorrhoid cream. Bam!
10. She doesn’t tell her straight guy friends anything that would make you jealous. I can’t believe this is the first time I’m saying this in this article, but give us a little more credit, “Wall Street Insanity”!
11. If you really want anal, don’t be a p*ssy about it. Let’s talk!
12. She actually sometimes considers what it really would be like to date your friend or roommate. Your roomie definitely didn’t look attractive when you started dating six months ago.
13. You should figure out what she likes to do. There’s nothing more attractive than a man who won’t make me spin with him.
14. She really wants to stop fake orgasming. Just make her come. You will know the difference, trust me!
15. She knows when your mom picked out the gift for her birthday.
16. She enjoys when you improve your “Prince Charming” routine. She knows how to properly cook the risotto, but who mentioned she really wanted to play chef in the kitchen?
17. You’ve got to be capable of maintaining an erection. All The Time!
18. If you’ve been together for longer than three months and she hasn’t said or intimated that she loves you, she probably doesn’t. And if she starts picking fights with you because she genuinely no longer cares, then…
19. Telling us RELAX truly does not work. It has quite the opposite effect on us and you know it.
20. She is not be ready for kids right away. You like this beautiful body, right? Awesome, because currently so do we, man. Don’t push it!
21. She really knows exactly when you are lying to her. She really is hoping it is for the big surprise birthday party she always wanted but couldn’t ask for ever.
22. She secretly wants you to invite her to the places you enjoy. We sometimes love football games and really any place that could involve a photo opportunity. Selfie time!!!
23. She really wants to look good for you and only you. So don’t you dare tell her that every outfit looks exactly the same.
24. You don’t really have to understand her mania for shoes. You have to respect the fact that she might look at them quite same way you might look at porn.
25. You should always defend your girl. Be it in front of your friends, coworkers or your mom!
26. She is really tired of always having to make all the plans. Make a plan for a special time for just the two of you to show her that you actually care!!!
27. She really wants you to be more thoughtful. The most prised presents are the ones from the heart! The ones like taking out time in your day to see a movie or a play together.
28. She might love your “who can grow the weirdest moustache” contest with your pals only if you include her and make it playful somewhat.
29. She really wants you to meet your circle of friends.
30. She is secretly very flattered that some of your friends think she is attractive. That doesn’t necessarily means she wants them or something, though if she thinks about it, see #12. Just in case…
31. She really likes being your muse but please don’t hang out photo of the inside of her vagina or something in a gallery anywhere.
32. Just don’t be afraid of oral sex.
33. She really wants you to tell her what is wrong when you are upset at something. She does not need an entire and complete sit-down, but just keep her in updated.
34. Don’t ever comment on how much she eats. Especially when she’s on her monthly period. Ever
35. Removing all the typical gender stereotypes aside, be a man. In the relationship when we need you to be one, like when it’s time to kill a spider, just deliver. OK?
36. We want to hear about your ex-girlfriend. That only has to confirm that we are better though.
37. It doesn’t matter how charming, cute or good looking you are. At some point in the relationship, she’ll fake it to get you off her. Really, don’t ever let it come to this. Ever…
38. If you ever cheated on your girl in the past, she is going to be very wary of you. You would have to probably keep this information all to yourself. Don’t slip.
39. She really likes it when you do gentlemenly things. This really does not include hocking loogies. Remember that!
40. Being an enourmous douchebag is not really a good look.
41. If you really have a serious problem when she actually wins at trivial stuff, then you’re will have an even bigger and serious problem when she’s more successful than you in things that actually matter.
42. She secretly knows that you actually enjoy “The Notebook” or some other weird chick movie.
43. If she have turned down your weird request for a threesome by now, you should start a search for a fleshlight and DIY thingy…
44. Take a note there: The quiet time is when she is watching “Gossip”
45. Give her reasons to compliment you. She really will not tell you that your balding hair looks sexy pushed back if it doesn’t somewhat resemble Aaron Samuels.
46. She really needs you to indulge her from time to time. Be it that means listening to her sometimes pointless gossip or enjoying each other’s massages. This is what really makes her happy.
47. When she actually stops caring about dressing up in front of you, maybe then all the romance has officially gone out the door or she is getting too comfortable with you, which is not always a bad thing…
48. You are not her dad. You’ve been inside her. Repeatedly.
49. The same way she is not your mom. Don’t really expect her to baby you all the time.
50. Above everything she really just wants you both to be happy together. It is way more simple than any list we can create!!!
Hope we made a point!